The Fallacy of Independence pt.1

I remember when I was a teenager and thinking for a looooong time, that being independent was the one thing I needed to achieve anything I wanted in life. I thought once I was independent everything would just work for me. I believed that the constraints placed on me were solely a result of dependency on the people and things around me.

If I could just break free and be independent!

Oh foolish, foolish youth, life is a bit more complex than that.

You see we live in such an individualist culture as Americans, especially if you were brought up in a city like New York. There’s a quote by Michael Franti in one of his songs and he says, “To be surrounded by a million other people, and feel alone like a tree in the desert.” That line struck me to the core, and really made me rethink my city geography, and the fate of humanity in general.

You know it’s easy to forget we’re all here together, but you must remember every individual’s success depends on the collective.

Now I know there are successful people out there claiming they “did it on their own”, but in truth, most of those people are either overly egotistical, disillusioned, or straight up lying… Whether you want to believe it or not, we are all here together. Understanding that and letting go of any egotistical “I did it on my own” delusion will get you to your goals MUCH faster. You’ll hear me speak often about taking responsibility for your own life, you’ll never hear me say you have to do every single thing by yourself… Trust me that’s a recipe for disaster my friend. I should know, I’ve tried that route many many times (I can be stubborn…)

More to that point, depending on how you make your money or the industry in which you work, it’s literally impossible to make it anywhere by yourself… I mean even a solo musician, who plays their own instruments, records their own songs, designs their own album covers, and sells their own music on the street hand to hand… STILL has to have another person actually come by and BUY it… Unless you plan to be successful by buying your own product, it’s not going to work… Therefore and for many more reasons, NO ONE can make it on their own…

YOU cannot make it on your own…

That’s just not the way this world is supposed to flow. Look up a little thing called interdependence. If you already know what this word means and are applying it to your life, kudos! If you’ve never heard that word before, look it up {here definition of interdependence}, read more about it here {find one more source} or here {stephen covey}, and thank me later…

Sidenote: I don’t like to make a definite statement on what IS possible. Miracles happen every day, and what’s possible changes every day, so who am I to call something impossible… Improbable is a more accurate word… Anyway, I think you get what I’m saying…

The point is this… Stop fighting against other in your pursuit for what’s “yours.” Learn how to work with, instead of work against. Something I personally say to myself often is, “There is no competition”… When I say this it reminds me that people are one of two things… An ally in my cause, OR they work for me and they just don’t know it yet…


1) Identify two definitive people who you KNOW are ready to take the self-improvement journey with you, and one person who you KNOW is not ready to take that journey.

2) Call two of those three people and say thank you for being a part of your life. Let them know you are moving to a higher level of humanity, you love them, and you want them to take the journey with you.

3) Refer them to {this article} so they can get aligned with their personal power.

Stay Tuned…


~~~~Spread L.I.G.H.T.~~~~

Follow me to the greatest heights of love!




~~~~Spread L.I.G.H.T.~~~~

“Bandele has taught me the importance of sharing and caring for others while still understanding the value of being an individual, and that it’s not always that you can please others, but it is always that you can choose to do the right things.” –  Matheus Leite


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